Reports from Observer readers have been flying of a masked madman swooping in to terrify the citizens of our fair city in a nightly rampage. The mystifying owl man steals Pneumatic Translation Devices and absconds into the night. What’s more, this outlaw owl rips apart radios and interrogates innocent people about their “lost time” or “missing memories.”
One victim, speaking only under the protection of anonymity, told this reporter the owl demanded to know if their devices contained “lanthanum components.” One can only conclude from these facts that this feathered freak is completely insane. Will the authorities act quickly to clip the owl’s wings, or allow it to roost in Auxientia indefinitely?
The more important question hoovers above our heads – Who is this masked vigilante doling out their own brand of Strigiforme justice and nocturnal mayhem? Who! Who indeed!
